Sunday, July 16, 2006

One.....

Nowadays, i've been sliding into mood so intricate i don't understand it myself. I don't feel my old self anymore. It's as if i have matured over a cold, lonely night. One way i fugured this out was through my usual habits. I have stopped drinking alcohol as much, and i have begun to write alot about myself, which would seem to have no meaning, but in fact it does. I even started thinking about life recently. But one thing still remains exactly how it used to be. And thats my swearing. I find i feel much better when i use fucking words while im conversing, and besides its been part of my vocabulary like since primary 3. So i don't blame myself cause i don't really think that there is any harm in saying those words as long as it dosen't scar anyone for life. Now then it would cause much damage to the person who swears and the person who gets affected by the swearing.

I feel that i've become much wiser, but i don't like it. I still do prefer my old st. pats ways. I wish i would finally realise why i've translated into a translucent beam of light where nothing else matters except for the ones you love of care about deeply. So this is song thta i feel like i relate to at this point of time in my life. Its called Fade to Black by Metallica...

METALLICA-FADE TO BLACK

Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel
Emptiness is filing me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now He's gone

No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death Greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye