Friday, July 28, 2006

IM NOT STUDYING PROPERLY!!!!!!

i find myself still struggling, trying to study and not get distracted by anything. BUT its just not WORKING!!!!!!!!..somebody ssssssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvveeeeeeeeeee mmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!wad to do wad to do wad to do wad to do wad to do wad to do!!!!

Dunno ah sial....and im cant afford to fuck it anymore...right now, goin J2 is my only cuase..i cant afford to stay back..if i do, then can someone please tell me why the FUCK did i consider gettin into a JC...i dun think its to stay back the 1st year....there are very powerful forces at work here....and by powerful forces i mean the teachers who are gonna judge my fate for next year...shit...im screwed....up, down, left, right, center.....sianzzzzz.................

Monday, July 24, 2006

ROCK ON HOMMIEZZ!!!

OH YEA!!! the concert rocked the fuck outta everyones ballzzz!!!! Dun beleive me?? ask the china boy in class A8 about how he made evry muthafucker down in the mosh pit mosh their asses the fuck out wen he played the fuckin fast solo from master of puppets...even though our band was not the best band there..we still played good enough to make ppl go crazy..that was enough for us....i personally feel the best band there was my juniors band where they played iron maiden"fear of the dark" and some other megadeath song.... wos...the rock concert really rockedd..... some unwanted stuff did happen though..u see the gig took place in my school hall, so the barricades, seeing how budget st. pats is, was juz canteen tables.. one guy actually thought ppl was so high that he thought ppl wud actually catch him if he jumped from the table....well he did.... fell on his back n cudnt move.. so ambulance was caled....anyway tat was the bad part.... but st.pats showed a very gd part of its face...it was abt RONIN, for all those hu don't noe..ronin is actually a professioal band in singapore..u noe the ones whr they hav a signed contract n all...
this was the best part.the agreement of the concert was tat no vulgarities wud b used wadsoever...hoever,, being stupid enough ronin juz had to spew out vulgariies...so they were asked to leave.. see the irony of this is tat ronin was a specal guest band st. pats had called for this concert..they recommended thei presence....the thing is, they got chased of by the same ppl hu invited them...how loser is tat man..i bet the crazy fella with the white hair n makeup died in embarrasement..well tats all tat happened during the concert..oh yea..did i mention we rocked!!! haha......

Sunday, July 16, 2006

One.....

Nowadays, i've been sliding into mood so intricate i don't understand it myself. I don't feel my old self anymore. It's as if i have matured over a cold, lonely night. One way i fugured this out was through my usual habits. I have stopped drinking alcohol as much, and i have begun to write alot about myself, which would seem to have no meaning, but in fact it does. I even started thinking about life recently. But one thing still remains exactly how it used to be. And thats my swearing. I find i feel much better when i use fucking words while im conversing, and besides its been part of my vocabulary like since primary 3. So i don't blame myself cause i don't really think that there is any harm in saying those words as long as it dosen't scar anyone for life. Now then it would cause much damage to the person who swears and the person who gets affected by the swearing.

I feel that i've become much wiser, but i don't like it. I still do prefer my old st. pats ways. I wish i would finally realise why i've translated into a translucent beam of light where nothing else matters except for the ones you love of care about deeply. So this is song thta i feel like i relate to at this point of time in my life. Its called Fade to Black by Metallica...

METALLICA-FADE TO BLACK

Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel
Emptiness is filing me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now He's gone

No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death Greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye

Thursday, July 13, 2006

.

Im in school right now...having lunch break. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I'm having this fucked up feeling in my fucked up head. I don't even know what the hell im doing here right now... I mean Clarissa just asked me where i am, instead of going to her i'm sitting here writing this shit even though i don't know why the hell i'm doing it. This is seriously fucked up. I'm feeling somethin that i never ever felt before in my whole life, what the fuck is it??
Its like a mixture of sadness, happiness, embarrasement and just shear agony.Why....

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

ok before i start writing about anythin, i wanna say a very big.........
THANK YOU!!!
to all my friends who have made this 17th birthday of mine a great one. i mean i've had really shiok shiok birthdays, but i feel this by far the best and most special birthday i have ever had in my life. All of yall have made it very special for me and i can tell yall i never felt this way in my life. Fides and Jacq, i love the squirrel. I feel that it really expresses me alot...^^....Aileen, Clarissa and Heidi, the bracelet was great, i loved it. I mean i always wanted something with my name(or at least my nick) inscribed in it. And what a better way to get it then as a present from friends. And Zarifah, thanks alot for your present even though i don't know what it is yet, im sure ill love it, don't worry. And thx to all my band bros for rememberin, it means alot la....
Love yall....

Sunday, July 09, 2006

hmmmmm

Sorry la zarifah...lazy..yesterday i was writing it half-way, but i was too lazy to continue. ok so what was i was writing about, lets see....oh ya, i was saying i just started math tuiion last week tuesday. And guess what, it was Aileen's hot hot teacher,even clarissa says it to...i was suppose to turn gay the moment i lay eyes on him. Well what do you think??!?!??! they are like totally in love with him la..lke they can't live without him. But he dosent affect me so lets just change the fuckin subject before i start to kill myslef. I found out that my class did fucking badly for the common tests, what a surprise!! i mean who would ever suspect a class which comes late for school and lessons, does nohthing in class, cant be bothered about punishments to do so badly??
its really very surprising......ok enough with the fucking sarcasm....everyone knows my class just plain and purely sucks. But in actual fact,,it rulezz....so fuck you muthafuckers who say my class sux..

ok so next thing is that on thursday my makeshift band had our 2nd practice for the upcoming concert in st pats. we were actually quite surprised that we could play the songs, we never acually thought we could pull it off. Now we have a certain level of confidence. So that's good. Anyway im suppose to do a very catchy tune for my bass solo in the start of the song, so im thinking CALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING for those of you who knows this song. And besides its in the same key the song were playing right after the solo, so ya....its all adds up well. Hopefully the concert will be a great success for us. And i don;t have to worry about the amp not working again(for those of you who know what im talking about) cause there's a rumour that its gonna be wireless, so cool...

ok that's all i had to say, well..tomorrow im gonna celebrate 17 years of living a fucking miserable life. WOOPDIDOO!!!! Happy Birthday to me!!... all im looking forward to tomorrow is the amount of money im gonna get so that i can waste on shit that i don't really need. Most probably you'll be thinking what kind of muthafucker i am..well good...coz that's what i am...

Sunday, July 02, 2006

COUGH*

i think im sick. i like wokeup at 8 to go mass, slept during it,went back home,slept until like about 1+..then i ate lunch n went online for awhile,den i went staright back to sleep around 3+. Guess what, i woke up around 7.15 and then i went online again la...well not really sleepy anymore...come to think of it, i don't think im sick..haha..wth..contradictory statements from me, how typical....Anyway i 've like been practicing my guitar for the concert so bloody hard, even though i can play it already, i still have to figure out a bass solo for my intro..its super exciting, at the same time nerve wrecking. I mean its not as if i never played a solo on an instrument with the light shining on me in front of thousands of people before, but its the first time i'm doin it on a bass guitar...and its all freestyling on the spot, so ya, i fucked up right now. but what's gotta be done has to be done. So ill just do what i can,hopefully i don't screw it up. I would like be demoralised for the song. But actually what is a song?? Issit just an intricate network of sounds put together to simply create a illusion of sounds which soothe the human hear? Well whatever it is, i just lovee it. As most of the people who know well, i'm like crazy about music and my life is basically about music. I guess i was just born a music lover.